The Ferrari’s handle isn’t great, but we’ve definitely heard worse.

Ferrari is a magnet for ardor and criticism, pretty much no matter what new car it shows up with next. The stakes will always be high for the most storied auto brand in the world. And yet, there’s something in the “Superfast” name that screams “bad translation” or “hyperbolic knock-off,” even for a massively powerful Italian exotic.

But the Superfast is hardly the only car that Ferrari, and many other brands, have named poorly. We polled the Motor1 staffers for examples of car names that, for reasons both personal and objective, have always left bad tastes in our mouths.

Oh, and before you go looking for the Studebaker Dictator and Ford Probe… they aren’t here. We decided to stick to newer cars and concepts, because we care about freshness, even with stinky sobriquets.

Nissan Teatro For Dayz Concept

Nissan Teatro for Dayz concept

First, any use of the letter "z" in place of "s" deserves derisive mocking. Second, teatro means "theatre" in Italian and Spanish. So this hatchback is literally the "theatre for days." What is that supposed to mean?

– Chris Bruce

Maserati Quattroporte

Maserati Quattroporte

The beautiful confluence of syllables and verb sounds make the name sound wonderful in English, but Quattroporte literally means "four-door." Imagine buying the 2017 Ford Four-Door, and you realize how uncreative the moniker is.

– Chris Bruce

Volkswagen Tiguan

VW Tiguan

Tiguan isn’t a real word. Volkswagen made it up by combining “tiger” and “iguana.” Tigeriguana. I wish I were joking, but I’m not.

– Steven Ewing

Kia Cadenza

Kia Cadenza

Not to be confused with a lovely piece of living room furniture.

– Steven Ewing

Ferrari LaFerrari

Ferrari Laferrari

I know, I know – Ferrari decided to name its latest halo supercar the LaFerrari in attempt to tell the world, "hey, this is the ultimate Ferrari and we are proud of it." But LaFerrari literally means TheFerrari. To put that into context, just imagine Mercedes-AMG's calling its upcoming hypercar the Mercedes-AMG DerMercedes-AMG.

– Anthony Karr

Bentley Bentayga

Bentley Bentayga

I just don’t like this name. It’s partly inspired by the Taiga snow forest, partly by the rugged Bentayga rock formation in the Canary Islands, and partly by the first four letters of the company’s name. But the result just doesn't roll off the tongue and, to me, doesn't fit well into Bentley's history of fantastic car names.

– Anthony Karr

Volkswagen Up!

VW Up

I think Up! is a cute name for the tiny European city car. What bugs me is that VW insists on putting the exclamation point at the end, not only confounding autocorrect and spell checkers when I’m typing, but also making it seem like you’re always! excited! every time you write about the car.

– Jake Holmes

Opel Adam Rocks

Kia Adam Rocks

While I don't have a problem with the regular Opel Adam since it's named after the company's founder, I do find it downright weird the rugged version of the posh city car is called "Adam Rocks." Oh, and there was also a special edition called "Opel Adam Rocks Unlimited." The horror.

– Adrian Padeanu

Kia Cee’d

Kia Cee'd

The only car in the world (at least to my knowledge) to have an apostrophe in its name. To make matters worse, the moniker technically begins with a lowercase “c,” though the Motor1 style guide banishes such nonsense. Not only that, but the coupe version is advertised in some countries as the “pro_cee’d” Need I say more?

– Adrian Padeanu

Hyundai Tucson

Hyundai Tucson

You can name your crossover after any place on Earth and you pick Tucson, Arizona. Why? Plus it looks like someone misspelled Tuscan, which would be a better name.

– James Bradbury

Audi TT

Audi TT

I have nothing against the TT as a car, especially the most recent one. But there’s something cringeworthy about naming any car after a motorcycle race. If you must use the name TT then why not reserve it for something lightweight, purpose-built, sporty, dangerous, and high-revving? Not a Golf platform-mate that’s frequently paired with a diesel engine in Europe.

– James Bradbury

Ram ProMaster

Ram ProMaster

Superlatives alert! Come on Ram, I accept that you have a very nice cargo van, but does it really have to be both a “Pro” and a “Master” at the same time? Isn’t a master better than a pro? Stop bacon-wrapping bacon, and just help me move this furniture.

– Seyth Miersma

Kia Optima

Kia Optima

Never liked Kia Optima. The car is okay, but Optima always sounded too lightweight and childishly upbeat for a midsize car. This holds especially true after Kia gave it some teeth with the turbo a few years back.

– Chris Smith

 

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