It's just too nice to smash up, you see.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," the saying goes. And here’s a woman incandescent with rage and on the rampage in the latest commercial for the new Audi S5.
Records are smashed and thrown in the swimming pool, wedding photos swept onto the floor, models smashed, soccer balls slashed, expensive liqour poured away, and then she sees the car keys. And picks up a golf club. Oh no!
But as the garage door opens, she looks at the brand-new Audi S5 Sportback there, and she just can’t do it, because it’s just too nice - a car for driving, not smashing. So she does the sensible thing and hoons off into the mountains and a new life as far away as possible from her cheating whatsit of a husband. Or something like that.
She would get there pretty quickly, as well. The S5 is powered by Audi’s new 3.0-litre, turbocharged V6 engine, which serves up 354 horsepower and 369 pound-feet of torque. Translated to the road via an eight-speed automatic gearbox and Quattro all-wheel drive, that’s enough to dispatch the 0-100 kilometres per hour (0-62 miles per hour) sprint in just 4.7 seconds, while top speed is limited to 250 km/h (155 mph).
The S5 Sportback also has a usefully-sized trunk, with 480 litres (17 cubic feet) of space, enough for her to have packed her entire closet before taking off.
Volkswagen ran a very similar commercial for the Golf GTi in the United Kingdom back in the 1980's. It featured a wronged woman throwing away all the things she had been given by her cheating fiancee, but not the keys to her GTi. Because that would just be cutting your nose off to spite your face.
You can watch it below.
The S5 Coupe goes on sale in the United States and Canada in March of next year. The Sportback and Cabriolet models are due to land in May.